January 2018 EM Event Summary

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January 6th : Siege Council Meeting

Starting time : 5 pm EST at the Council Chambers (Serpents Hold)


Welcome new and returning governors!


Our first council meeting of the year will take place on January 6th. King Blackthorn bids you welcome!

All governors are asked to attend, to send a representative, or to submit a report in writing – either to the EM Hall mailbox, or via email.

Representatives of player-run towns are also welcome, and hold the same position as governors. However, they are not obliged to submit a report unless they want to.

Citizens of Sosaria, you are welcome to attend, and will have opportunity to speak your mind at the end of the meeting.


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January 12th : Hawkwind’s Chronoturgical Hampster

Starting time : 5 pm EST at the House of Commons (EM Hall)

Hawkwind gazed into his time viewer, observing the birth of another new year. This one seemed fairly normal, filled with invasions of monsters, people complaining about their lot in life, and the occasional explosion from an alchemist’s laboratory. No universe-ending threats in this one, and no newly invented types of cheesecake either.

A noise near his elbow drew Hawkwind’s attention to his pet hampster, who was snuffling at the bars of his cage. It was feeding time. Hawkwind opened a bag of hampster feed, and poured it into the small feeding trough in the cage, not noticing that the ties for the bag had looped around the catch of the cage door.

As he put the bag down, the door flew open, and the weight of the bag propelled the hapless hampster into his time viewer’s screen. There was a terrible crack, and a horrified squeak, and a flash of purple and black. Hawkwind flew across the room, and struck his head.

When he awoke, the screen was humming with a strange energy, and there was no sign of the hampster. However, the number of world-threatening emergencies on the display had increased since his earlier viewing. he turned on his spare viewer, and groaned.

There, scampering across Sosaria, was the biggest hampster he had ever seen, intent on sating its hunger any way it possibly could…


What you need to know:

  • Hampsters are hard to kill. No, really. They’re terrifyingly strong, have massive teeth, and really sharp claws. They also grow to the size of a large bull, and make a mess wherever they roam. You think I make this stuff up?!?
  • Gates to the EM Hall will appear in the usual places, between an hour to half an hour before the event.
  • This will take place outside the guard zone, so come prepared.


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January 20th : Treasure Hunt

Starting time : 5 pm EST at the House of Commons (EM Hall)

As was once written by the wisened scribe Fergus of Delta 4 software :

Gold is a lovely metal,
much better than copper or brass.
But a dragon stole mine,
so I’ll settle
for kicking him hard up the ass




What you need to know:

  • We start from the House of Commons (EM Hall)
  • The Royal Treasure Hunter will transport the group to each map location, one by one.
  • The Chests will be dug up by the Royal Treasure Hunter.
  • The contents will be placed in backpacks on the ground.
  • At this point, anyone can help themselves to the contents.
  • The only request is that NOBODY takes the backpacks. Thank you.
  • If you want to tame one of the creatures that leaps out of the chest, SAY SO LOUDLY.
  • If you don’t say so, people will try to kill them. Guaranteed.
  • You can join in and leave at any point.
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January 27th : Murder in the Library

Starting time : 5 pm EST at the House of Commons (EM Hall)


The Royal Detective’s wings bristled as he surveyed the library around him. It was almost tranquil. Normally there would have been pools of blood from a stab wound like this, but this time the corpse lay on a neatly arranged pile of magical scrolls, which had fine absorbent qualities.

Then there was the deceased himself. Neatly dressed, in expensive clothes which showed no sign of a struggle. Indeed, it was as if the man’s squire or valet had just finished helping him to dress.

The library staff were unhelpful, at best. Most of them kept “shushing” him when he tried to interrogate them, and those he could get to talk claimed to have seen nothing. He found that unlikely, given that the corpse lay in the middle of the room.

The young librarian who had reported the murder was equally unhelpful. She had been tidying the stacks of scrolls when she came upon the man lying there. The lack of blood had made her think he was sleeping at first or had succumbed to too much drink. It was only when she had tried to rouse him that she found death was already stiffening his limbs.

The victim’s pockets and belt pouch held little in the way of clues either. There was no indication as to his identity, but the motive had probably not been gold. His coin pouch was full – bulging, in fact. A golden time piece on his wrist was also untouched. Even his hat which would have fetched a fair penny in the markets was untaken, placed neatly to one side of the peaceful corpse.

Saengkt ver beh sighed, bristled his wings once more, and opened a moongate to his study. This case would take some thought, and several blocks of Trinsic chocolate to process.

What you need to know

  • This is a murder mystery. That means this event will require more thought, and less bashing. If you find puzzle-solving boring, then you will be bored. If, however, you like mental stimulation and mysteries, then I think you will be highly entertained.
  • Gates to the EM Hall will be available in the usual places, half an hour to an hour before the event.
  • I hope to have VvV turned off in Britain for the two hours surrounding this event. As of this writing, I do not know if that will be possible or not. If it is not, we will simply go and defend the outskirts of Britain from a sudden invasion of monsters until VvV is over. The guard zone will (probably) stay turned on.


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Christmas time, deco looks fine!

Hello Siege!

As you may have noticed, I’m slowly making my way around the towns, as and when I have time, making your banks look Christmassy! Unfortunately, I can’t do it all by myself. Not if you want everything done before Christmas!

So, here’s how you can help:

If you have anything decorative and Christmassy, and you aren’t emotionally attached to it, drop it in the EM Hall mailbox.

If you want it back, put it in a bag with a book telling me who you are, and exactly where I can find a PUBLIC mailbox that I can drop it into early in the New Year. No book, no returns.

Governors and candidates, if you want anything specific at your banks, either go the bag-and-book route for simple stuff, or, for more complex stuff, send me an email with the most detailed description of where you want me to lock down your items. Also specifiy if you want the stuff back, as above.

Some folks have provided things already – thank you very much!

I’ll be decorating on and off over the next few days, as and when I have time.

So, if your town bank hasn’t got anything yet, be patient – it will!

Ho Ho Ho!


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Event Summary for December 2017

Due to the elections, there will be no Siege Council meeting this month.

If there are any urgent city-related issues, please email me at 

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December 1st – Treasure Hunt

5 pm EST is treasure hunting time!

Gather at the EM Hall, for another evening of loot, rares, new pets, deathrobes and fun!

As usual, the Royal Treasurehunter will bring level 7 maps (and a few level 6s in case we run out!), and we will travel the length and breadth of the land, digging holes, being ambushed by chest guardians, and dying a lot!

What you need to know:

  • This mainly takes place outside the guard zone. Come prepared.
  • Gates to the EM hall will open from all the usual places during the hour before we start.
  • The treasure hunter will open a gate from the hall to the map location.
  • The treasure hunter will dig up the chest.
  • A bag (or more) will be placed on the ground. IMPORTANT: Please do not take this bag.
  • The treasure hunter will empty the chest into the bag. You can start taking things from the moment the first one hits the bag – but please don’t take the bag. Ok?
  • As monsters spawn, you can fight, kill, and loot them. Or tame them. Whatever you want.
  • Once the chest is empty, the bag(s) will be taken back to the EM Hall, and secured for anyone to access. So, even if you don’t want to take part in the hunt, feel free to drop by and take anything you want from the bags.
  • We then move on to the next map.
  • So, you can join in, or drop out, at any point. There will be an open gate at the EM Hall for the duration of the event – i.e. until the treasure hunter drops from exhaustion!
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December 9th – The 3 Principles Part III : Courage

5 pm EST – Dungeon crawling time!

The group of madmen stood enraptured at their leader’s words, their blades shining in the moonlight, blood fresh from their recent sacrifice pooled around their bare feet. It all made perfect sense. How had they not seen this before? It was all so simple. Their leader’s voice rose in pitch, almost shrieking :

“We have struck at their fortress of love! We have driven stakes through their supposed truth! Now, we will take their courage from them, and they will NEVER stand against our masters again!!!

Chanting and gyrating like the possessed, the robed group spun across the landscape, into the harbour, and began swimming towards Serpent’s Hold, daggers clenched in their teeth.

Unfortunately, they had chosen the exact same moment that a shoal of sea serpents had begun their annual migration towards Nu’jelm, and that was the end of them.

Their leader, panic stricken, managed to make his way back to shore, and fled screaming through the trees, until a large, dark cavern beckoned him in. This would do. Dungeons were a great source of fear – what better place to destroy courage?

He had just finished the incantation that the Titans had taught him, watching with an almost innocent grin as the air began to split and open, when a large, hairy hand appeared on his shoulder.

“You am me’s food?” asked the troll hopefully. When all it received was a gurgling scream, it decided the answer must be “yes”, and dragged the hapless cultist away into the dungeon.

Where he had stood, the air split with a resounding crash, and a dark, inhuman foot stepped through…


What you need to know:

  • Not a huge amount. You’re probably going to die, so don’t bother coming. Bye, now.
  • Still here? Oh, all right… gates to the EM hall will appear during the hour before the event, and the town criers will announce the event. So will Harold, in General Chat.
  • This will be outside of the guard zone, and healers will be in short supply – so bring a friend who knows how to rez you, and how to stay alive him/herself!
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December 15th – Three Wise Goblins

5 pm EST is Goblin Hunting Time!

With apologies to anyone of a poetic nature, anyone who actually likes “We three kings” and anyone who is offended by drunken goblins. Oh, and that guy over there who is always professionally offended. YOU know who you are!


We three goblins of the Abyss are
Smelling ghastly we burp from afar
Fouling fountains, littering mountains,
Looking for the nearest bar

O Bar of Eodon, open all night
Bar with pirate brandy blight
Moonshine flowing, all things knowing,
Drink makes us think we’re right!

Born goblins of underground plain,
It stinks below, but we can’t complain,
Thinking slightly, planning lightly
Behold my two-celled brain!

O Bar of Eodon, on mountain’s height,
Bar with buccaneer grog so right!
Liquor flowing, now we’re going
to drink and throw up all night!

Goblins wise, you’ll know us by name,
Our boasts are a thing of fame,
We can’t write, and we can’t read,
But we think we’re wise all the same!

O Bar of Eodon, bar of booze,
Our brains are pickled, not much to lose,
As we goblins party, ever hearty,
Now to lie down for a quick snooze

Goblins wise, well-read are we,
Although we don’t know our ABC
Boasting, lying, scheming, prying
Believe all we say, will ye!

O Bar of Eodon, bar well stocked,
Cute barmaid with her ale-stained smock,
No fool she, not fooled by we,
She hit me with a lumpy rock!

Goblins now, from the bar are banned,
Thrown out the door, cap in hand,
Puking, sighing, screaming, crying,
This wasn’t what we planned!

On to the lands possessed of men,
Lands with fresh taverns to raid again,
We will drink soon, we will fight you,
Wise goblins arise again!


Wow, you read this far down?  Amazing! Ok then…

What you need to know:

  • Legend has it that, at this time of year, three wise goblins will come seeking… something. Even they don’t seem to know what. Probably a good fight.
  • Gates to the EM Hall will appear in the hour before the event.
  • No guard zone events here. Come prepared to die, and possibly to be looted.
  • That’s about it. And apologies if you now have “we 3 kings” stuck in your head.


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