5 pm EST is Goblin Hunting Time!
With apologies to anyone of a poetic nature, anyone who actually likes “We three kings” and anyone who is offended by drunken goblins. Oh, and that guy over there who is always professionally offended. YOU know who you are!
We three goblins of the Abyss are
Smelling ghastly we burp from afar
Fouling fountains, littering mountains,
Looking for the nearest bar
O Bar of Eodon, open all night
Bar with pirate brandy blight
Moonshine flowing, all things knowing,
Drink makes us think we’re right!
Born goblins of underground plain,
It stinks below, but we can’t complain,
Thinking slightly, planning lightly
Behold my two-celled brain!
O Bar of Eodon, on mountain’s height,
Bar with buccaneer grog so right!
Liquor flowing, now we’re going
to drink and throw up all night!
Goblins wise, you’ll know us by name,
Our boasts are a thing of fame,
We can’t write, and we can’t read,
But we think we’re wise all the same!
O Bar of Eodon, bar of booze,
Our brains are pickled, not much to lose,
As we goblins party, ever hearty,
Now to lie down for a quick snooze
Goblins wise, well-read are we,
Although we don’t know our ABC
Boasting, lying, scheming, prying
Believe all we say, will ye!
O Bar of Eodon, bar well stocked,
Cute barmaid with her ale-stained smock,
No fool she, not fooled by we,
She hit me with a lumpy rock!
Goblins now, from the bar are banned,
Thrown out the door, cap in hand,
Puking, sighing, screaming, crying,
This wasn’t what we planned!
On to the lands possessed of men,
Lands with fresh taverns to raid again,
We will drink soon, we will fight you,
Wise goblins arise again!
Wow, you read this far down? Amazing! Ok then…
What you need to know:
- Legend has it that, at this time of year, three wise goblins will come seeking… something. Even they don’t seem to know what. Probably a good fight.
- Gates to the EM Hall will appear in the hour before the event.
- No guard zone events here. Come prepared to die, and possibly to be looted.
- That’s about it. And apologies if you now have “we 3 kings” stuck in your head.