25th August – The Haunting of Skara Brae

Details to be announced. The event will start at 5 pm EST, which is probably the Witching Hour somewhere or other.

This will be part of the 20th Anniversary Event Arc.

Shh. No Spoilers! (yet!)


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18th August 9pm EST – The Champion of Siege, 2017

Take a stick. No, the big one over there -thaaat’s the one. Now, see your friend over there? Currently looking out the window? Quietly sneak up behind him, and whack him over the head with your stick.

What do you mean, you don’t want to?  What are you doing on Siege, anyway? Wimp!

This weekend, by popular request, there will be a PvP tournament.

The rules are pretty simple:

  • No pets. Not even in the audience. There is a stable at the Bull Ring nearby if you need to stable your pets.
  • No tag-teaming.
  • This is one-on-one. No gank squads allowed. No zergs.
  • Summons ARE allowed.
  • No audience “assistance”.
  • Cursing (medieval style), insults, and the use of UO Curse (if you still have a copy), are mandatory.
  • Any weapons, potions, spells, and other gear is allowed. If you’ve got it, flaunt it. This is an “anything goes” PvP tournament.
  • When I say “anything goes” that does not include non-combatant PKing, looting, stealing, or general disruption of the event. Those things will get you booted, and no, I won’t listen to whining in GC after you’ve been booted. This is your only warning.

How this works:

Based on the poll I ran through July, this event will start at 9 pm EST.  It will run until we have a champion.

If you can’t make it at that time, or can only stay for an hour, please don’t sign up. Rather come along and support from the audience.

If you can take part, and want to, please sign up below, stating your character’s name.  I don’t need to know your skill-set, but you are welcome to state it if you want to.

I will put all names into a hat, and draw them out in twos. That will form the basis for round one of the contest.

If you are not present when your name is called, you forfeit the round, and are out of the competition. Sorry.

If you have to leave – no matter how good a reason you have – you are out of the competition. Sorry.

The winners of round one will go back into the hat, and be drawn out in twos. And so on, and so on, until last man (or woman!) standing.

That champion will get their name on a really nice trophy, to be displayed at the EM Hall for a while, and then on permanent display at the reward hall.

Other things you need to know

This will take place outside of a guard zone.

It will take place in the arena of the Black Watch Barracks. If you haven’t seen this, there is a gate to it outside the EM Hall in Britain.  This building is NOT in a guard zone.

If the building proves to be unsuitable for any reason, we will relocate to one of the public arenas.

Gates will appear at the usual places, an hour before the event.

Good luck, and may the best fighter (or the sneakiest) win!

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August 2017 Event Summary


I apologise for the delay in posting times, and event details. But, I think you’ll agree it is worth the wait when the 20th Anniversary Celebrations kick off any day now!

Rest assured, I will be wandering around the shard, here and there, adding my own secret herbs and spices to the recipe as events unfold.

It may help to think of the hard work that the devs have done as the main course, and my humble offerings as your after-dinner mint. A magical mint, with a fine taste that lingers as lethal poison causes you fall to your knees, and everything goes dark…

Oh, and here’s another time zone thingamajig. I hope someone out there finds it useful and educational. If I ever get the time, I’ll do one of those wheel things that you can cut out and play with.Maybe.

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19th August – Siege Council Meeting

All are welcome. Details of what to expect during a council meeting can be found at siege.uoem.net, in the FAQ, and in the section regarding governors meetings.

The council chambers are a non-aggression zone. First, no pets. Second, anyone found killing, stealing, attacking, or generally being disruptive gets three dips in the moat, and then a ban for the duration of the meeting. You can complain all you like, Blackthorn isn’t listening.

As usual, gates to the meeting will pop up in the usual places. They’re the funny looking pink ones. Any king manly enough to use pink moongates can’t possibly be a zombie – can he?

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12th August – Confrontation!

A hush fell over the hatchery, as the last minion’s corpse yielded no more treasure. The adventurers looked around, expecting another attack. But none came. A master of beasts applied a magical bandage to her dragon, while nearby, a mage cast healing spells on his friends. The huge, blue-hued bodies of the architects lay around the room, flickers of vile, stolen soul energy wafting upwards from their grotesque forms.

As one, the group moved towards the teleporter that would lead them back to the Black Watch’s barracks. Still, no attack came. No ambush. Just an unearthly silence, broken only by the sound of their boots marching back home. But why did this not feel like a victory?

“It’s not dead, you know” said a tall elf. “It’ll come for us again.”

A tinker-mage nodded, tossing trap after trap into the debris. “Let it.” he said. “It’ll regret it.”

The huge, blood-stained telescope turned slightly, silently, unnoticed by the departing party. A massive eye opened, and gazed through the portal that hung before the telescope.

“I began with no army. I rose to power with no army. I consumed whole worlds without an army. And yet you – you pathetic Britannians – you think me beaten? Your souls will be my food, and your soulless forms will serve me. You think you have won? Your hope is a tiny thing, without power, lacking imagination, and devoid of intellect. I will devour it in less time than it takes to measure how exceptionally small and worthless you all are”

A huge, inhuman form began to move across the ruins of the hatchery, soulfire rising from every corpse and flowing towards it, as the Soulstealer arose, turned in the direction the party had gone, raised huge claws towards the roof, and began to chant in words not heard before the world was born…

What you need to know

Nothing. You’re all doomed. Give up now. Hide under your beds, for all the good that will do you.

What? Still here? Oh, all right then…

  • Gates will appear at the usual locations.
  • Announcements will be made an hour before the event starts
  • The event will take place outside of a guard zone. Don’t let that stop you.
  • This will be an extremely tough encounter. Don’t let that stop you either.
  • This battle will probably go on for a long time. Speak to a cook who owns a coffee plant or two.
  • You don’t want to miss this one.


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4th August – Treasure & Taming


What you need to know

  • You want good loot? We’ve got good loot!
  • You want a chance to tame a frost dragon? You’ve come to the right event!
  • Angry, bloodthirsty monsters? Check!
  • A chance to hang out with the cute and bouncy Royal Archaeologist’s Assistant? Yep!
  • A chance of being raided by PKs? Naah, this is Siege. Perfectly safe. Uh, huh.
  • Moongates – weird pink ones – will appear at the usual places.
  • More angry, bloodthirsty monsters? Check!
  • Guard Zone? We will start in a guard zone. We may even end in a guard zone. From time to time, we might visit a guard zone. But most of the time? No guard zone. But this is Siege! What could possibly happen?
  • Tons of stuff for trainee imbuers? We’ve got that too!
  • A really tiny chance at part of a coffin? Yeah, I guess. Haven’t seen one yet.
  • Even more angry, bloodthirsty monsters? You betcha!
  • Will it go on for hours and hours until the EM falls asleep in a treasure chest? Oh yeah – after all, I’m a masochist, and you guys are totally worth it.
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August’s Fishing Contest


So, the Seeker Fish was hard to find. You might say it took much seeking. Or perhaps you might not. Perhaps the taste of fish that lives near a Minotaur is not to your liking? Very well.

How about a Great Barracuda instead?

The rules are the same as before – whoever leaves the largest Great Barracuda in the EM Hall’s mailbox before the stroke of midnight on the 31st of August, will get their name on a suitably fishy trophy.

For those who don’t manage to catch a Great Barracuda, we are still continuing our search for the biggest fish of 2017. This is a fish named “A Big Fish”. The current contender is on display in the EM hall. Beat that weight, drop it into the mailbox, and see if you win!

If you want your fish back after the event, please leave a book, or a rune, or something indicating where to deliver it to. Oh, and make sure your mailbox is publicly accessible, too – I don’t want a reputation for breaking and entering unless I’m doing a Santa-based event. If you don’t leave anything, I’ll assume that you don’t want it back.

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Saturday 29th July : What lies Beneath?

10 pm BST / 5 pm EST

Far across the void, the beast bristled as one after another enslaved soul brought back its report.

First, the scouting parties it had sent had returned good news. This “Siege” was weak, unprotected,. ripe for plunder. Easy pickings.

The first forays had gone well, indeed. Souls had been taken, and the ranks of minions, as well as the food stores, had grown. And grown.

But that success had been short lived. The worshippers that had been established had been slaughtered. The armies sent to take new ground had been eradicated. And now, the primal hatchery had been found, and production halted.

This would not stand. The hatchery was vital to success! With a gesture, the beast sent minions pouring through a portal, followed by a squad of hatchery constructors, to effect repairs. Then, a swarm of the newer minions it had been moulding, to claim the world’s waterways.

This was a setback, to be sure. But it was one that the 2-legged creatures would regret, and pay for with their souls.


What you need to know

  • Gates to the starting point of the event will be made available in the usual places
  • Guard Zone? What guard zone? We spit on your guard zones. Ptooie!
  • Town Criers will give general details all month
  • Black Watch members who attend will receive attendance points. There is no need for uniform unless you want to wear it – your battle gear is probably of higher quality!
  • Wandering Healers will probably pop in at random, if they feel they’re needed.


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Happy July 4th

Ad-hoc, spur of the moment, event

Far beneath his illusory cottage, Juxmani sat and plotted. The attack on the king’s mages had gone well, but the king had quadrupled the guard on all entry points to the castle, and was now somehow blocking gates to key areas. A direct assault was not going to work – not for now. So what to do, what to do?

He looked down the fairly short list of people who had agreed to join him against the king, and sighed. Perhaps the people’s hearts simply weren’t in it. Or were they? Perhaps they just needed a little push. He grabbed a quill pen and started to write.

Soon, the markets across the land were strewn with scrolls protesting the taxes on their sales, the lack of really fresh fruit, the pickpockets in the marketplace (put there by Juxmani, of course) and the terrible stench from the pig pens. All of them pointing the finger at King Blackthorn.

Soon, a crowd began to gather outside Castle Blackthorn. Nothing that the guards couldn’t handle, but it would certainly make the king sit up and think. Maybe even sweat a little.

Meanwhile, near Compassion moongate, several large, scaled heads gazed down at a scroll that had blown through the moongate.

“What do you make of it?” rumbled a huge, golden dragon

“Just more human foolishness” growled a smaller, white dragon.

“Perhaps, perhaps. But we are also kept in our place by this Blackthorn’s armies, are we not? Perhaps we need to look for our independence, too? Or take it away from the humans?” asked a large blue dragon

They turned, and looked at the moongate as a hapless adventurer chose that exact moment to step through.



Have fun, Siege!

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July’s Event Schedule


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